Bits of Thoughtful Humor for the New Year

NEW YEARS PRAYER -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your cardiologist, your gastro-enterologist, your urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist, your plumber and the I.R.S -------------------------------- May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure, your tri-glycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count and your mortgage interest not rise. ---------------------------------- May New Year's Eve find you seated around the table, together with your beloved family and cherished friends. May you find the food better, the environment quieter, the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure much more fulfilling than anything else you might ordinarily do that ---------------------------------------------- May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you delight them. May someone love you enough to forgive your faults, be blind to your blemishes, and tell the world about your virtues. ------------------------------------------- May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until you finish dinner, may the commercials on TV not be louder than the program you have been watching, and may your check book and your budget balance - and include generous amounts for charity. ----------------------------------- May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day to your spouse, your child, your parent, your siblings; but not to your secretary, your nurse, your masseuse, your hairdresser or your tennis instructor.